President Obama expands the "War on Terror" to include Black Terrorists
On November 24th 2016, US President Obama announced that the ‘War on Terrorism”, popularly known as the “excuse that keeps on giving oil” will now be expanded to include Somalia’s militant group, "AS" (Due to an editorial policy that bans the spelling out of militant brands, all armed movements will be referred to by their initials to protect the neck area of writing staff living in areas with heavy AS presence).
AS has responded to the latest move by hailing it as an 'overdue and welcomed news". AS spokesperson spoke to Afrolens through Edward Snowden's phone connection, for an exclusive response to this latest change in US foreign policy. “Finally, it’s been an expensive decade of challenging anti-US imperialism and wrecking carnage upon my own folks" comments the young man who not be named by Afrolens, because we did not ask for it, out of pure and un-adulterated fear.
He continued, "we (AS) suspect the US previous reluctance to include our movement in their war on terror agenda is a further continuation of the white supremacist elements in America that employ anti-blackness as a measure to overlook black movements to bring down the US.”
To investigate these allegations of “gross under-representation of Africans in the war on Al-Qaeda”, Afrolens discovered that Nigeria's Boko Haram are also mysteriously absent from the war on terror list. US Whitehouse Spokesperson was not available to comment.
White liberals were also left reeling from this move by Obama, as they begin to pontificate why their beloved progressive and fault-free President would unleash President-Elect Trump's policies on Somalia this late in the game.